Friday, March 2, 2012

Math Mom to the Rescue

Want to know how to get on the good side of your elementary school child’s teacher?  Volunteer to be the parent helper for math.  (or art)

 For some reason, we seem to be intimidated by those subjects. 
We really shouldn’t be.  Sure the “new math” we learned in school is now the “old and obsolete math” and confuses the kids when we try to draw on it for their homework.  But that shouldn’t stop us.  It’s a lot more fun to confuse a whole classroom of children than just the one or two we have at home.

And volunteering in the classroom has other perks as well.  For instance, when my daughter announced to me she wanted this boy in her first grade class to be her boyfriend…I knew the boy in question.  Which means I was able to see  my daughter was showing signs of being attracted to the “bad boy.”  Cause this boy likes to cause anarchy in the classroom by whispering the word “fart” to his neighbor while we’re doing our “new new math.”  Oh no, this will never do.  I can’t have my son-in-law whispering “fart” to his neighbor while we are offering up the prayer for our Thanksgiving meal.  Especially if the neighbor is my mother-in-law.  That would not be polite AT ALL.

I have selected a lovely boy in her class as a contender for future spouse.  My husband thinks we should let her choose her spouse….later.  I think though, that this girl needs to get down to business quickly, since I was nearly 40 when she was born.  If she wants help with the grandbabies, she’s going to need to catch me before I turn 80.  Otherwise, she may have an extra set of diapers to change.  (mine)

Besides, if I select her mate now, I have the opportunity to have a hand in raising the boy.  I can gently guide him, while teaching him the “new new math” to have a good work life balance so my daughter doesn’t have a spouse who’s never home in time for dinner with her and the kids.

Oh, and a lovely side effect of being math mom, is that I get to learn the “new new math” alongside my daughter, and hopefully progress at the same rate as her.  That’s right, Algebra…kiss my what?

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